Do you always want to get your own way otherwise you get upset, shout at everyone and throw stuff around, or cry until you get what you want? Perhaps you sulk, withdraw into yourself and refuse to cooperate before others don’t apologise first. Most probably you are emotionally immature.
Signs that you still have to grow up emotionally:
The emotionally immature person is selfish and self-centred and puts her own interests first.
You can’t wait. Everything must happen immediately and exactly the way you want it.
The immature adult has to win all the time. Everything is a competition. Even an argument with your spouse must culminate in a win/lose situation.
The immature adult is never satisfied with what she has.
You find it difficult to distinguish between right and wrong, and to weigh up advantages and disadvantages sensibly. You are easily influenced by others, depend on others to form your opinion for you, and are unsure about your own identity. You are also very sensitive to criticism. This causes you to doubt your own abilities and you feel that you are a failure.
Someone who is emotionally immature struggles to accept responsibility. You blame others and exonerate yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes, but not others.
How to grow to maturity:
Be honest with yourself. Firstly, you must acknowledge that you have a problem. Then you have to resolve to take responsibility for your own life, conduct and future.
Start giving of yourself. Do something for others. Listen and be interested in other people’s lives and what is important to them. Even a smile can cheer up someone’s day.
Practise self-discipline. Make a list of tasks that you know need to be done but aren’t keen on doing, and then complete every task on the list.
Stop looking for excuses. When things go wrong, ask yourself: What did I do to cause this problem? What can I learn from the situation? What would be the best solution?
Get rid of competition in your relationships. There will be arguments, but it doesn’t matter who wins. Choose the middle ground and both parties will benefit.
Don’t let fear control you. Choose growth over fear and remember that your success and happiness are more important than your fears.
Accept that people differ and that you cannot change them. Respect the differences and the opinion of others.
Don’t expect of others to make you happy. Become emotionally mature and independent.
Don’t live in the past any longer. You can’t change the past, but you can choose to forgive and then move forward.
Bielay, G. 2010. “The differences between emotional maturity and immaturity”. Victoria Counselling Solutions, http://www.victoriacounsellingsolutions.com/_blog/Free_Relationship_Quiz_and_Articles/post/The_differences_between_emotional_maturity_and_immaturity/
Du Bruyn, G. & Du Bruyn, I. 2008. “Groei na emosionele volwassenheid”. Elize Botes, www.elizebotes.co.za/…/Shalom_Nuusbrief_37_Junie_2008_Emos_volw_s_w.doc
Gallozzi, C. 2012. “Emotional Maturity 101”. Personal-development.com, http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/emotional-maturity.htm
Wert, K. “15 Signs you may be an emotional bully”. Meant to be Happy, http://meanttobehappy.com/15-signs-you-may-be-an-emotional-bully-and-what-to-do-about-it/